:: pain in obedience ::

that's basically what i learnt during service today.

ok let me start from thurs. went to Kbox with my cell pple. it was fun la, but i didn't really enjoy myself. felt like we're not allowed to sing chinese songs, cuz joshua kept shouting "eject (the song)!" whenever it's a chi song. the rest of them were just laughing along la, like they dun mind it.

fri
i was so clumsy i spilled the packet of tea i bought for breakfast. ended up mobilising my colleagues to clean up with me, since my boss was not around. haha. cuz my indian colleague always complain abt the dust in office tt makes her sick, n she kept saying "one day we should clean up the office", so y not make it today. heh. swept n mopped the floor.

then i started eating my breakfast. since i had late breakfast i decided to skip lunch. got hungry around 4+pm, but wondered if i shld go n buy some food. it was going to be dinner time soon lor. then i called my dad n he drove me to hougang for dinner. bought a top there for $9 (i wore it on sunday) =P also bought the primary sch shoes tt was in trend a while ago. will design something on it when i have time haha.

watched the Sinking of Japan. crappy. there was so much volcanic activity tt there was dust n ashes falling from the sky n yet the pple, the Japanese of all pple, didn't wear masks or try to cover their noses n mouths! so much volcanic activity tt the air shld have been very very acidic! think the pple's skin shld burn man! not v realistic lor.

sat
had breakfast with my mom. went back n started making the Psalmist ministry leaders' appreciation notes. didn't manage to finish them but i had to go for lunch with my cell grp already. i left some materials at home - argh.

skipped lunch cuz i had a late breakfast again. then we had a time of sharing n prayer. felt tt all of us are struggling, n since reading the email abt persecution in Turkey, i prayed tt we will not pray for no struggles, but that thru struggles we will come out stronger.

played Boggle for games n then some Wet Head thing. had a discussion for cell evangelistic event. i hope to invite ting, judy, swee yi, amanda...to get to know my cell grp friends. they're part of my life as u guys are, so y not get to know the pple i've been blogging abt?

after tt went to find wenzheng n a few others to compile the leaders' appreciation notes. i thought i was the last one to finish it, but phew i wasn't! hee.. we were at SAJS canteen, but it was getting dark n we had no access to the lights so we moved to Mac's.

after we finished it i went to the coffeeshop opp indian temple with guorong n vincent. we started talking abt work, n then worship conference, n guorong shared what he had felt abt WC last yr. i guess it was a bad experience for both of us. there was supposedly no high expectations of the projection thingy, but actually there was. we agreed tt it had sapped a lot of our energy. n i declared tt i'm not going to do any video editing anymore.

sun
in a bad mood. was thinking abt the birthday celebration thing early in the morning n i really felt like cancelling the whole thing. just dun feel like celebrating anymore.

got to church late for the 9am teaching. went in halfway n Zane was sharing abt Mary as a woman, wife, mother. n yup the main lesson is, there's pain in obedience.

terry led worship. lotsa new songs to me. halfway thru one of the songs i started tearing, cuz i felt very upset. was thinking abt the morning greeting. u know when the chairperson announces, "let's greet one another..." anyway. i know it's human nature to be biased towards certain pple, but it's certainly human nature to feel upset to see pple being biased to other pple in front of u. at first my reaction to it was "?", but when i kept thinking abt it i felt more n more terrible.

offertory item was a very grand tamborine, streamers, flags dance. they're gonna do it for Global Day Of Prayer (GDOP). =)

after service i had a short discussion on tj balai trip with suzanne, elena n gail. really need a lot of wisdom.

also talked to faith abt bday celebration thingy. actually though i wanted to cancel it, the thing is, my focus shld be treating my cell grp to a party for being with me for so many yrs. not cancelling it just because i think i'm not worth celebrating for. argh. think i'm still going ahead with it n i'll go ahead with chocolate cake.

went for lunch with cell grp at the chicken rice stall again.. still in a bad mood but my cell grp doesn't deserve me throwing tantrums at them la.

went to boon keng to meet gail again, to join her discussion with her friend abt her Tibet mission trip. learn quite a lot abt planning. prayer is really really impt. i need to revive my prayer life. really guilty for not praying abt my cell grp evangelistic event. i was very sleepy during the discussion but good thing is i'm just sitting in.

then i went to gail's hse to chill out for a while before going to dhoby ghaut to find my dad for dinner.

this is only the start of the new week, i really shldn't feel so defeated! i think it's just PMS la. =(