:: left anything behind? ::

monday felt like sunday to me.. i realised i left my baby G behind in jeremy's hse after i got to the bus stop outside his house..

then yday john asked to borrow my camera n i said alright.. later he kept hinting to me like "u went for a church camp recently is it?" n "u went to fy room on friday right?" LOL.. my first reaction is innocently ask, "y? did i leave anything behind?" ROAR! (learn from judy)

oh yday judy came to my hse after dinner. i ate a lot for dinner.. :P jialat.. thank God i managed to maintain my weight miraculously.. haha.. yes i weigh myself everyday.. abit obsessed. we discussed our project stuff till 11.30pm then i couldn't wait!! took out my Jaew n Beautiful Boxer to watch with her. watched until 3am like tt.. jialat now my body clock is adjusted to around tt time.. couldn't fall asleep, so chatted with her on the bed.. ;) hahaz.. the last thing i rem is hear her say "army..." then we dozed off.

i had a nightmare... dreamt that a big spider dropped inside my shirt n i tried to get it out. went to some room n decided to shower n get it out. then instead of the spider i saw an insect of equivalent size.. it was..red colour.. i tried to capture it inside the cloth.. managed to.. then it suddenly jumped out at me!!! of cuz i panicked.. i turned around n saw in the mirror a lot of big bites on my back.. then somehow i woke up..

i set the alarm at 7am but we woke up at 10.30am when her phone rang!! we were like "shit!!!" n quickly jumped out of bed. i still wanna have breakfast.. so we went to punggol plaza n ordered prata n breakfast set. then we went back to my place, pack up a bit, discuss further abt the project then she went off. i still continued to use the comp for another project then rushed out to meet stephanie.

met her at far east plaza, brought her to Green View cafe for lunch.. oh it would have been perfect if not for bean sprouts n GARLIC!!! yucks! we went to 7-eleven to get drinks then walked to scotts coffee bean where we sat down to discuss project. think we ended the meeting around 3pm.. went to Gramophone to take a look.. it was a new opening.

we parted ways n i went to visit my dad's workplace. got mixed up with Orchard Parade Hotel n Orchard Hotel. i hope i didn't look like i was loitering around the area... anyway i saw Fann Wong at the former. cool huh. my dad was kinda telling all his co-workers i'm his daughter.. hoho.. quite cool.. his workplace is erm. like lucky plaza kinda laopok look. aircon blasting loudly n leaking at some areas, stale smell, old cafe setting. at 5pm there were some disgusting men staring n pointing n talking about me.. one of them even came up to my dad n asked, "uncle, ni de nu er ah?" my dad somehow antisocial or dao.. didn't really reply him WAHAHAHA. his workplace is really boring man. no music, nothing to do just sleep, stare at blank spaces.. sigh. not my type of job man. went inside the kitchen n watch him fry vegetables.. then helped him bring out to the serving area.

i had 2 more hours to spare cuz he wanted me to wait for him to get off work then go home together so i went to Borders. walked the whole bookstore.. tired and bored. around 7.20 i went back to Orchard hotel staff canteen, had my dinner then waited for him to pack up. i noticed there were a lot of...notices. "PLEASE CLEAR YOUR USED CUPS AFTER USED..." "THIS SINK IS SOLELY FOR WASHING HANDS. PLEASE DO NOT BRUSH YOUR TEETH OR RINSE YOUR MOUTH HERE." "DO NOT BRING ANY FOOD OUT OF THIS CANTEEN" ... funny sia..

it was drizzling when we left.. took bus to dhoby ghaut then train home. i realise i've been visiting orchard a few days in a row already.....i think.

:: happening ::

wahh i typed a v long entry n i carelessly went to another page n lost all that i typed!! i'll try to repeat what i typed. sigh.

sat morning woke up to find my parents still at home. usually they would be out. my dad cooked hor fun.. nice but he put in too much garlic.. my stomach felt weak for the rest of the day. went to dionne's hse the bus stop to meet her to get back my plastic bag of presents.. v careless of me to leave it behind.. =x

took bus to sengkang then train to potong pasir. i thought i could rem the way, in the end i still got lost.. sigh. practised Silent Night with the choir and other carols too, like Angels We Have Heard On High, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and O Come All Ye Faithful.. rehearsal ended around 6.30pm.. was quite impatient n want to rush off asap.. cuz i arranged to meet Singles' Club at orchard at 6.30pm.. =S michael so buey on lor.. when i arrived wendy wanted to get santa hat so we walked to watson's. there were only her, david n me..

we decided to have dinner at Taka Coffee Club.. shiok place man.. we had a wonderful window view that can overlook all the people downstairs squeezing.. we were sitting comfortably n enjoying dinner.. ;) i ordered seafood lasagne.. a lot of seafood sia.. shiok.. wendy ordered chocolate fondue for dessert. i'm not a chocolate fan la, but i tried it with each fruit, including kiwi!!! first time trying.. v sour sia.. strawberry also sour. we stayed until the shop closed, chatting, reading mag.. shaun was v happy when i finished browsing thru the 150-pg Cleo.. ahaha..

after tt we walked to dhoby ghaut mrt station. spent our countdown in NEL.. wanted to rush home cuz Faith said she would come a little after midnight. influenced the singles' club de to go all the way to punggol n even take the LRT with me.. hehe.. took one whole round with them. siaoz! had a good bath n started to write christmas cards.. =x faith came around 2+am.. we went to slp at 4am.. jialat..

next morning woke up at 7.30am.. late liao lor.. kena scolding... not really scolding la, but a talk on discipline. anyway service was short n good.. so we could go around exchanging presents n greetings n get to know the newcomers. there was a dance item, a song item, videos n we ended the service with Open Up The Gates! coolz.. felt bad when i saw the pple i didn't manage to write card for.. couldn't finish writing lor.. went for lunch with cell grp at a coffeeshop nearby. had char siew + roast chicken rice.. the chicken is breast meat lor!! =x forced myself to eat. after tt went to find Agape at the soya bean dessert shop. ordered a bowl of riceballs.. couldn't finish when they started to leave at 1.40pm.. so i takeaway.

took mrt to somerset and went to Cineleisure Kbox to meet Alvin the main character.. expected to sing little tt day.. i dun really listen to secular music anymore.. i could only sing old songs like Grasshopper!!! =P Faith brought her friend Jamie to join us. gave Alvin his present (tshirt).. i was worried it might not fit him.. hope he likes it. felt bad cuz i already told him beforehand tt we will treat him to KTV.. in the end there were not enough cash to treat him so he had to fork out $5 himself. =(

after KTV went with weiyang to downstairs to withdraw money n get present for cell grp gift exchange party. took cab to jeremy's hse.. malcolm cooked dinner.. we arrived just in time shortly after they started eating.. food was greeeeaaat man! there was red wine n white wine.. after dinner we played sabo game.. the forfeit is to drink water.. lol.. then we had thanksgiving session. i've appreciated each person in their christmas cards, so i thanked God for this whole yr. quite tired by then cuz it was midnight liao.

we had "ah peh" session.. it was a good time cuz i felt closer to my cell grp after tt. don't worry man i can keep things within four walls.. so i also hope others dun reveal what has been called a secret. at least exercise discerning abt revealing certain stuff. Christians shld not be viewed as gossipers. after tt the guys started acting crazy n drunk.. they sang a song for elizabeth (leong) cuz she joined us a a guest. they also sang a song for me for using jeremy's tshirt as a blanket.. haha.. i fell asleep despite they were making a din. but i woke up when i heard them suggest the girls go up to jeremy's room to slp. made my way there n slp again. until 10+am..

went for breakfast with diana n brandon n aijia n malcolm at KAP mac. ordered a sausage mcmuffin. the student meal is same portion, but 75 cents less. keke.. took bus 61 to harbourfront n took mrt home with brandon n aijia. went home to slp somemore.. =P wasn't tired but just want to feel the bed. haha..

woke up for dinner at sengkang The Soup Restaurant. went to metro cuz my mom got $100 voucher.. tried on a few pieces of clothes.. like one.. but in the end didn't buy cuz she didn't find anything she like.. couldn't make up $50 to use the voucher so we left.

:: mountain tortoise! ::

i'm so swagu!! first time heard of barebone and SFF!!!!

dunno whether i shld convert to a barebone user??? =x

:: merry christmas ::

tue
my computer desk came! looking forward to it since last week... now my room's looking a bit neater haha.. almost ready for my sis to come back then i'll move back to my room.. budden my bed is still full of junk.. hahahah.. lesson was super short. dunno what happened to ms wen lei, so ms pat took over the class n ended the lesson before 9am! :S saw farah as she was going to work hahaha... (n i was going home!!!) =D went home to slp then wake up to pack my room somemore.

asked chihiro over to accompany me cuz i scared if i'm alone at home n scared of the furniture delivery men.. haha.. =x

wed
no lesson.. shiok shiok.. lazy pig slp till late late.. went to sengkang to buy bread cuz i saw the advertisement on a bus n i felt interested in trying Gardenia Milk bread.. hmm the power of advertisements.. haha i'm not usually like tt. went to sch for IENTP project grp meeting. more constructive discussion this time. went backt to sengkang to buy necklace chain for my mom to exchange with her.. so tt i can wear the Soo Kee one tt was too short for her.

went home to slp..lately like really slp alot sia.. told myself to wake up around 7pm to wait for my uncle to come n check my computer.. my parents were not at home. in the end i slept till like 8+ i think.. he rang my doorbell n called my house phone then i woke up... opened the door with an outta-bed look.. haha.. gave him clothes for his daughters.. i'd been packing my room n took out clothes tt i dun wear anymore.. all in good condition, but i've outgrown them.

dunno what happened to my legs.. like suddenly A LOT of scars.. some r mosquito bites, some r scratches sustained from packing my room (hazardous place)

thur
woke up around 9.. nan de so "early" :P worked on my christmas postcard design then went to Peace centre to print them out. took a long time n finally Mr Bong helped me slice them using a machine tt can slice papers in bulk when i had been spending like 45 min slicing the papers one by one.. argh.. took bus to mustafa to help chihiro look for white stockings.. apparently no one has ever heard of white stockings. anyway it was my first time there. got lost.. but i saw judy's bf n he helped me navigate my way around abit.. haha.. took bus 857.. thought it could bring me to sch.. but i got off at yio chu kang to change bus. went to Blk L use comp for a while then went to Raffles place with darius n sab to meet john to go for concert.. nic was singing n was the one who sold us the tickets. venue is Victoria Concert Hall.. tt place brings back memories.. ya i was in RV choir.. kinda still hate ms tham. i really can't tell what she contributed. she made me rebel n eventually drop out of the choir. but anyway i enjoyed the concert.. haha.. walked to Clarke Quay mrt station n went home.

fri
woke up super late la.. 11am i was still in bed.. dunno what happen to me man. anyway Chihiro came around 3+pm.. wanted to leave at 4pm to go to Bishan to buy presents for alvin n for Nani for the christmas gift exchange party in sch at 5.30pm.. in the end i left home at 5pm. not really blaming chihiro abt tt but i wasn't very happy when she looked at what i wrote on christmas cards n other stuff.. not really respecting my privacy.. i'm usually ok with her going through my things, but there r things tt i prefer to keep private, like messages. i jokingly called her kaypo so i wun sound too harsh la.

took bus to bishan n bought alvin's present first.. then went to Mu-ee to buy gift for nani.. it was a great buy haha.. got budget one. went to NTUC to get finger food. wrote a card for nani on the MRT.. =x haha.. quite sian of the walking to sch. dunno whether i shld get off at AMK or YCK.. both also far from sch. i got "kiapped" by the gate at the mrt station.. sian.. the gate nv detect my ezlink card.. thank God it didn't kill me. stupid gate.

i was quite blur when i arrived at the party at Blk M lvl 4.. nice place. they decorated it.. had fishballs n nuggets and tarts n a drink.. then yang tien gave out presents from under the christmas tree.. he was looking for angel in the sky so i look up too.. quite lame la. anyway after the party went to dionne's hse.. woohoo she drives!! watched Are We There Yet? on her projector screen.. wahlaozzzz... rich pple... haha.. after tt went home.. i left the presents behind at her place.. =( so careless of me..

:: misses camp ::

I MISS YOUTH CAMP 2005! "mummy!!! it's oveeeeerrrrrrr!!!!" *wails*

the actual camp is over! just like tt! we planned so long for a 4-day-3-night camp! it just went past like a breeze!

hmm lemme give a report according to my point of view..

DAY 1 - friday
went to sch for a super short lesson of Intro to Entre.. basically stoning most of the time, wondering wad are the campers doing at SAV.. hmm~ lesson ended before 10am.. so i looked for benson to pass him ICT mag (asking him to help me get it during his trip to bangkok) and asked my dad to drive me to SAV. he decided to service his motor. n then we had brunch at the food centre in thomson. a bit not happy cuz i intended to go SAV straight after my lesson and hope to catch the bus before it leaves for dairy farm road. anyway in the end managed to reach SAV before the camp comm led the campers to the buses. i took bus no.4 keke quite an empty bus.. =) the ride wasn't v long. Miss Muscles helped unload the boxes from the bus then joined the campers at the canteen. hmm.. can't rem much details, but just that we had lunch n gave the campers a lot of time to do their group banners. lunch was....nasi briyani. hehe a no-no for Miss Fussy. went back to bunk to clean it up. t-shirts were arriving around 4+pm.. excited!! the driver got lost around 100 Upper bukit timah so i asked jianxiong to direct him. kinda glad tt the t-shirts turned out well. packed them to prepare to give out during supper time.

can't rem eating dinner but around 6+pm we went to Salvation Army Praisehaven Chapel to setup for worship prac n session. Sermon was kinda convicting in a way.. haha.. =x worship was wonderful but too bad we didn't have the freedom to stay there as long as we want. i was kinda upset tt i was arranged to stand alone all the way in the corner and then during sermon no one sat beside me.. but i prayed for joy in my heart so tt in all circumstances i can still be glad. was "interviewed" by pastor abt what we felt in the front. i answered tt i received some names of pple to pray for during the camp and hope these pple receive a touch from God.

went back for supper. i think it was curry puff. wad the heck man, pple going to sleep already still feed them with carbo? the t-shirts weren't distributed. postponed to sat morning. had debrief with leaders and camp comm also had debrief then we rested for the day. haha i rem drooling and tossing and turning n waking up once in a while. wahaha.. rebecca told me tt i made some noise during the night.. kekeke..

DAY 2
weeee... wake up super early for camp comm prayer!! led prayer with shirley.. she reminded me to pray for ourselves to be ministered first n foremost before we serve the campers. and tt when we obey God, He will bless us with good weather, safety etc.. so we sought God first. very blessed by the time of prayer. then after we closed, i noticed pple started to come into the canteen for corporate prayer. prayed with elena.. served breakfast - fried beehoon - then briefed the campers wad time to meet back. gave them time for QT then we set off for Praisehaven again. Chris preached from John n during the time i found myself stoning a lot n i nodded off.. =x dunno y..

went back to canteen to setup the place for games. hoho.. i was station master for....THE GRID!!! three cheers for tt! haha.. served lunch n after tt we started games at 12+pm. found it a bit difficult communicating with my co-station master.. we have conflicts in the idea of playing the game but it wasn't serious, don't worry. both of us compromised a bit here n there. the first time we conducted the game was quite a mess. sorry abt tt.. we noticed some problems with the rules and improved it. there was a slot where there wasn't any group coming to our station so i went around taking photos. stepped into the high element area without helmet n was chased out. i was intimidated when i noticed one ODAC instructor was staring at me fiercely. so i didn't take photos there. of cuz Miss Sensitive felt unhappy.

after games the campers had time to go bathe while i went back to rest. i rem falling asleep for a short while. woke up n heard sobbing sounds but i could only c jon n nat also asleep. :S haha.. reluctantly went back to canteen. served dinner with impatience cuz i was supposed to pack 10 packets for the musicians and bring them to Praisehaven at 6.20pm. the packets arrived after dinnertime started and wasn't given priority. i was also worried tt the vocalists haven't eat yet or didn't wait for me. managed to asked them to wait for me as i continued packing dinner. i myself didn't eat.

was more upset than yday cuz i felt totally neglected la. told myself to fake a smile. but during the worship i didn't have to fake la. really praising God. prayed with Chihiro during the ministry time.. really hope tt God will touch her but seems like.. kinda disappointed la.. wanted to pray for Kelvin also. but then.. hmm.. the last part of the session was a jumping good time man. the last time i did the train thing was probably during FOP when tyrone n michael were still around. think tt was yr 2000. it's a dangerous act. dun really dare to do it anymore.

had supper and then distributed tshirts. went to Zebulun and the grp thanked me for the t-shirt.. now reflecting on it i felt immature for covering my ears instead of accepting the compliment graciously. stupid me. i was juz too pai seh.. had leaders debrief in the camp comm bunk. there was a time of sharing.. went to slp after showering.. Chihiro shocked me by entering the camp comm room to ask for a lighter after we switched off the lights. haha.. everyone wondered how i got to know her.

DAY 3
slept more soundly last night.. woke up for prayer again.. n this time felt stoned. served breakfast.. nasi lemak.. gave the groups time while camp comm had a sharing session in bunk. i shared tt i was very happy tt the comm is v united, close enough for me to share my prayer requests with them n to let them know tt i needed prayer support. yup..

after lunch rested a while before ...GAMES TIME!! this time we managed to conduct the game more smoothly maybe cuz most of the pple in these groups understand the game already so there wasn't much difficulty explaining the game. during the off-slot time i went to Guess the Word station to help out as well as watch the groups play.. then went to the Hidden Path also. after tt went back to my station n we started playing early. joined in the last round of the game.

went back to rest n bathe.. felt upset tt my shampoo n shower foam were "stolen". dunno who "innocently" took it. changed into polo teefor photo-taking.. then dinner. this time i ate. it was sotong ball n green veggie n chicken n rice. long time no eat dinner with camp comm. =x helped setup canteen for Special night.

nothing much to say abt Special night.. but honestly honestly i was kinda bored with some of the grp's performances.. some were entertaining, but after like 10 mins i started to yawn n hope some buzzer will tell them tt time is up. =x we felt kinda offended when baoying's name was suddenly used by the actors.. some grps tried to act us out but seemed to portray kinda insulting image. ah. was even more pissed when i couldn't contact hx abt proj meeting time. jess smsed me to ask the grp for a better meeting time. i sms them but none of them reply, told andy to call them up but turned out he didn't. felt totally in a bad mood at tt time. couldn't enjoy the show. oh i killed a millipede when i went toilet. =x. poor thing..

after tt helped pack up the place a bit then went back to bunk. help carry stuff to jeff's car then met the rest of the camp comm there. they were thinking of going out for supper. hmm.. decided not to eat. went back to rest a bit then shower for sleep. haha slept so early.. last night of camp already still sleep so early. i really old liao sia.. i bet my cell grp all staying up except me.

DAY 4
haha by the time i washed up the camp comm were already at the canteen. =x served the last breakfast..sobb sobb.. cleared the place more n went back to bunk for final packup n clean up. revealed angel n mortal.. n turned out my angel is diana! i feel super bad for the spelling mistakes in my notes to my mortal.. bo sim sia.

break camp liao.... went to johnson duck for lunch with cell grp.. Chihiro joined elohim at Al-Azhar. we went over too later, for teh. went home with Chihiro. shat good time n then slp. until dinner time.. asked my mom to da-bao for me.. hehe.. lazy to go out for dinner.

I MISS CAMP!! thank God for such an experience to be in camp comm! honestly i wouldn't join as a camper cuz of high elements. =x keke.. i juz realised our meal caterer could be the same as the one in my Sec 3 adventure camp.. (no wonder i didn't eat at all during tt camp.. i was suffering from depression then)

haha ya anyway.. back to life. skipped sch today but it's ok. :P got lesson tmr. sianz!

:: praise God ::

thank God.. on sunday morning i prayed tt i will be able to catch the LRT once i reach the station n catch the train n then bus.. the LRT really did arrive the very moment i reached the platform~! the train too, but it didn't leave until a few minutes later.. n the bus.. hmm.. waited quite a bit but was thankful enough.

thank God i didn't fall sick as i shld have. been well for abt a yr without falling sick at all. my body did threaten to give way when i bia late nights, but thank God for sustaining me. last time when i dust my room i can even fall sick.. now i'm trying to clear my room, sneezed very often but right this moment i'm feeling very well!

hmm.. wad else? hmm.. thank God for a nice friend Chihiro who lives v near me.. she's like a boyfriend to me in a way tt i sms her very often, hang out with her v often.. haha..

gonna make my new yr resolutions v soon.. =)

:: :S ::

there was a murder in punggol last night after i reached home. thank God i didn't witness it.. *shivers*

today lesson was cancelled. so i thought i wld just go for bible study then go gym. i was dressed already then just b4 i left house i remembered i forgot to take my handphone, so i went back to the room to get it. i saw messages, including the one that says the bible study today was cancelled. so i was like, okay. stayed at home and then received another sms. my dinner appointment was cancelled. haha.. then i wonder maybe i'm supposed to stay home today.

packed my postcards, listened to my CDs.. until 5pm like tt i felt my back quite ache.. later went out for dinner with mom.. had breakfast set (yes, for dinner) wasn't v hungry cuz i ate my "lunch" around 5pm.. it was a milo drink mixed with some stuff. ;)

packed my table n prepared to remove it.. chihiro came to show me what she bought.. haha.. really like wad she got me.. =) listened to her tell me the story of a comic she read while inside i was worried abt my project.. supposed to finish up the competitor analysis by friday to pass to my grp members.. it was around 12am n i still hadn't done. now gotta choose topics for another grp project.. really dun need to slp liao man.

gd morning, world!

:: wad's wrong ::

dunno wad's wrong with me man.. henry pointed out tt i look rather deep in thoughts lately.. i think i really THINK TOO MUCH.. worried abt portfolio n animoweb n freelance work n camp comm... so many things on my mind..

hmm.. i just realised i forgot to go for Tuesday Prayer meeting.. tt day Chihiro came to my hse to play.. haha play until 1+am like sunday..

then yday no lesson.. woke up at 10am.. haha.. bathed n dressed n put on make-up..ready to go club MOMO!!! hahaha.. not to club la, but to help sab they all film.. act as extra.. so weird to try to dance without getting high, n the funniest part is where we have to dance without music!!! can u imagine how stupid it was? no i'm not blaming the filming crew, i'm laughing at wad i went thru.. haha.. the music also not suitable leh.. not very club type.. surprised to c michael there acting too.. i was doing sexy dancing around cheryl.. haha.. the lead actor was quite impressed n wanted us to teach him how to dance.. wahahaha.. then chihiro arrived.. i was worried she dunno her way here n i have to make her wait for me to bring her in during shooting.. she joined in the dance at the last shot n found it fun.. haha..

after this she brought me n cheryl to Smith St for dinner.. had chicken cutlet la mian.. not bad.. finished all that i have in my wallet tt day. after dinner we walked thru the market to get to the mrt station.. i realise tt i've lost the enthusiasm in shopping.. dunno y man.. is it wad u call "maturing"?? - no longer as wild as b4.. haha..

anyway these few days i feel v appreciated.. ethan thanked me for accomodating the GB logo on the sleeve thing n i felt quite bad cuz he came all the way to paya lebar with me n jac on monday n i wasn't sure if he benefited from the trip.. ken smsed me to thank me for helping them out.. he sounded v touched in that msg.. haha.. juz received a mail from PUB after i sent them a feedback like 2 months back.. there was a "specially design" cashcard as a token of appreciation.. thanks guys for appreciating me n letting me know.. haha sorry if i didn't mention u.. it's 2+am now.. tired.. just finished my freelance proj.. hopefully it gets thru n i can get my pay soon.. not sure how i'll spend it..

chatted with mai n rean today.. told them abt my plans of backpacking with judy after my graduation.. kinda sia jai that they cannot come along with us to bring us around thailand cuz their parents might not allow.. but i wanna visit chiang mai, pattaya, surin, n bangkok again.. feel very gian n i really hope my parents dun object to me going!! n hope judy's parents also dun object!!

yup.. gd nite~! =)

:: *smilEx* ::

today is a good day..

my dad sent me to sch. had lesson for less than 3 hours.. kinda stoned most of the time..

wanted to go for lunch with my classmates.. but didn't.. went back home to slp.. *yaWnz* so tired~!

woke up around 3+.. packed my room a bit.. then chihiro came..

she motivates me to throw away the junk in my room, n i'm very glad to be able to give away some of my stuff to her.. hmm~ she collects postcards n namecards too! my wardrobe is full of clothes tt i dun wear/i wouldn't catch myself in.. really need to clear out man.. but my mentality is "i'll wear this one day" so i dun throw clothes away.. well, those is good condition but maybe too small for me i can bless other pple with them.. so i put them aside.

we went for dinner at punggol plaza.. looked at magazines (man i'm really lost touch with the world. who the heck is Britney Spears married to? who's Christina Agu...'s bf? ) i really have no idea. haha.. but.. it's ok la. i know weiting, judy, swee yi, ...can liao.. haha..

went back home.. a bit stoned.. let Chihiro use my laptop to go online.. i continued to pack my stuff.. if i were to empty my room of one thing at a time, continuously, i would spend abt a year..?

*/

:: decision ::

i have just decided.. to give up animoweb.

i'm sorry to myself for giving myelf so much stress for the past few weeks.

at the last minute i decided my work is too lousy.

i have zero confidence in it.

go to sleep~! yay!

:: sad ::

last night on my way home i almost cried. told myself, get home then cry.

i went online to check mail all tt.. by the time i was ready to pour out my woes to God i can't rem the upsetting stuff for the day already.

today did an offertory item with my twin.. felt terrible abt the mistakes despite a lot of pple came up to tell us it's a good song. well, just hope tt the msg got across n pple r ministered to la.

stayed back for worship prac. i totally neglected my animoweb. felt kinda bad. quite sian of helping pack stuff after a while. decided to go home. v tired. slept on the train.. anyway during the prac i was like thinking of my matyrdom. i would want to sing the song Lost In Your Love until i get shot in my heart.

hmm..went for dinner with my mom. then chihiro reminded me tt she need to come my hse to use internet. so i met her at punggol plaza n walked home together. i'm still very impressed with her life stories.. very filled with experience n exciting life.. haha.. she taught me a lot of tips on clothes.. hmm.. i really must quit my bad habit of looking down on my clothes.. then tt way i can feel better abt them.. anyway it was really fun with her around la.. just that i was worried my parents might be woken up by her condom riddle. ahem.. haha... she just left, around 1+am.. haha.. then now i'm going to continue to work on my animoweb. a bit sian.

:: cannot take it ::

i feel like wallowing in self pity..

God save me...!!!

i'm starting to hate humans..

starting to show bad attitude..

:: really ::

แอนเจิ้ล -- my name in thai. cool huh, i can type thai now!!

wahaha.. *evil laughter*

reeally, these r one of the days when i can read my blog n wonder y i ever felt so down.. mood swing lor.. quite extreme hor. i keep telling myself, a depressed Christian is oxymoronic. it shldn't happen. so, trying to get over this stupid feeling n enjoy my life, not hate it.

hmm, on christmas, i would have been single for a whole year liao.. felt quite lonely at times, kept praying for a companion. but it's only been a year!! so hard to tahan meh? felt like there's no object of affection for me.. so kinda feel down easily i guess. that means Jesus hasn't been my number 1 love. hmm.. so i have to make some adjustments.

last night for my prayer time i poured out all my material requests to God. i find it VERY hard to pray for luxury items like new clothes, new shoes.. u may think that these r necessities, but i dun agree. i dun think without new clothes i cannot live. just that i won't be as trendy as my classmates. just that i won't feel good around them. n then i feel so down, down, down, down. i keep telling myself tt i'm me, i don't have to be like them, but it's hard. i dun even noe myself. but pple say that it's not wrong to pray for what i want, because our Father delights in giving His children good gifts. so i tried to pray for them lor. still feel tt it's wrong. =S it makes me happy to have money to shop.. but then i dun feel tt money shld be spent tt way. then i feel down. so ironic!! =( i'd rather spend money on computer.. it's more useful. or on travelling, experience the world.

i'm kinda in the stage where i'm confused. life is ironic to me. i can be both happy n sad.