hmm.. long time no online..
anyway i juz made an observation. i learnt one thing abt myself... i seem to be able to get comfortable with non-christian guys, but i'm juz not comfortable around christian guys.. maybe tt's y all the guys i realli like r non-christians? this is quite terrible, so i pray tt God will change my mindset.
anyway today is also the day i become v convicted tt the purpose for our lives is to carry out the Great Commission. instead of just being interested in our personal spiritual growth, we ought to evangelise in everywhere we go n everything we do. tt's y i'm so attracted to missions. esp overseas mission, where i can c diff nationality pple worshiping God in diff languages!
i hope u guys r convicted of evangelism too... fulfil the Great Commission together!
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Thursday, March 31, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
:: fate ::
supposed to meet ting in sch to run at 10am... but i felt lazy.. (still in bed at 9am!) hahaha... then changed plan to go walk walk in causeway point. she took a taxi to meet me n found a wallet at the backseat! fate sia... the wallet got a lot of orange and blue colour notes!
we had lunch at Jack's Place (nan de i feel like splurging - my own money la) n we kept joking and laughing in there... the appetiser was great, but main course so-so onli. after taking our time to walk around, we took mrt to fajar to return the wallet to the owner.
the owner was v v happy to get her ic back on top of so much money n she gave us a $50 note to reward us! of cuz being nice sweet little powerpuff girls we refused at first. but she realli insisted cuz she was realli grateful, so we accepted it. (i was thinking, out of so much money, $50 seems like a small amt to her!) ting n i laughed abt it cuz we had joked abt this earlier on, n it came true! anyway we parted at cck mrt.
i went to sch for cca. shared with my dg abt the incident. today is sharing time n we used the time to encourage each other with verses. there's one i found in my quiet time - "Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfation of having done your work well, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else." Galatians 6:4 - cuz as u all noe, i'm a person with v v low self esteem, always not able to take pride in my work... hope this verse will lift my spirits whenever i feel down again!
after dg went for connection. watch the last part of Passion of the Christ... v gruesome... itz to remind us tt Christ died for our sins, so we ought to live redeemed lives. there's another story to illustrate this theory: there was once a man called george. he has wife n a son n a job at a railway station. his job is to operate the bridge further down the station, to lower it for trains to pass. one day his wife died, n george had to bring his son along to work because there would be no one else to take care of him at home. his son likes to play by the railroad but is careful to keep away from trains whenever his dad warns him. one day, a train arrived ahead of schedule. george's son was playing by the railway as usual, but george was unable to warn him this time. as the train neared the bridge, he had to make a decision to lower the bridge n kill his son or to keep the bridge raised, n kill everyone on the train. at this time, he made the decision, to lower the bridge. think abt this, there were countless pple on the train, a family having lunch together on the train, a couple chatting happily, children running abt... all of them did not know tt george's son had died so tt they could still live. of cuz u can say itz the son's fault to be ignorant of the train's arrival, but its juz an analogy, of a person having to sacrifice a life to save many. these pple ought to cherish their lives even more if they knew tt they could have died instead.
anyway after connection i went to blk L to do my authoring assignment... then got my dad to fetch me... waited for him until i got 4 mosquito bites sia~!
we had lunch at Jack's Place (nan de i feel like splurging - my own money la) n we kept joking and laughing in there... the appetiser was great, but main course so-so onli. after taking our time to walk around, we took mrt to fajar to return the wallet to the owner.
the owner was v v happy to get her ic back on top of so much money n she gave us a $50 note to reward us! of cuz being nice sweet little powerpuff girls we refused at first. but she realli insisted cuz she was realli grateful, so we accepted it. (i was thinking, out of so much money, $50 seems like a small amt to her!) ting n i laughed abt it cuz we had joked abt this earlier on, n it came true! anyway we parted at cck mrt.
i went to sch for cca. shared with my dg abt the incident. today is sharing time n we used the time to encourage each other with verses. there's one i found in my quiet time - "Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfation of having done your work well, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else." Galatians 6:4 - cuz as u all noe, i'm a person with v v low self esteem, always not able to take pride in my work... hope this verse will lift my spirits whenever i feel down again!
after dg went for connection. watch the last part of Passion of the Christ... v gruesome... itz to remind us tt Christ died for our sins, so we ought to live redeemed lives. there's another story to illustrate this theory: there was once a man called george. he has wife n a son n a job at a railway station. his job is to operate the bridge further down the station, to lower it for trains to pass. one day his wife died, n george had to bring his son along to work because there would be no one else to take care of him at home. his son likes to play by the railroad but is careful to keep away from trains whenever his dad warns him. one day, a train arrived ahead of schedule. george's son was playing by the railway as usual, but george was unable to warn him this time. as the train neared the bridge, he had to make a decision to lower the bridge n kill his son or to keep the bridge raised, n kill everyone on the train. at this time, he made the decision, to lower the bridge. think abt this, there were countless pple on the train, a family having lunch together on the train, a couple chatting happily, children running abt... all of them did not know tt george's son had died so tt they could still live. of cuz u can say itz the son's fault to be ignorant of the train's arrival, but its juz an analogy, of a person having to sacrifice a life to save many. these pple ought to cherish their lives even more if they knew tt they could have died instead.
anyway after connection i went to blk L to do my authoring assignment... then got my dad to fetch me... waited for him until i got 4 mosquito bites sia~!
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
:: no slp n slp ::
i worked on my web design assignment 1 the whole sunday nite... itz due on monday n i still got a lot not done.. typical me la... anyway i nv slp at all, felt a bit weak on my way to sch, but dun realli feel tired... i think if i slp i will want to slp more. authoring lesson is rubbish, waste time onli.... went to library to borrow the thai book again.
on my way home i keep slping on the bus... v reluctant to wake up and walk home. when i reached home i went to slp immediately.. woke up for a phone call but went back to lalaland after tt. i rem dreaming abt wanling joining us for lessons, i also dreamt tt i went to malaysia by myself. boarded a ferry. i was standing while the ferry was still at dock, i turned around n saw yau toking to someone beside me... then i quickly turned back. he asked tt person behind me, "wad's she doing here?" n i was kinda afraid wad will happen next... he got off the ferry n i nv saw him again. this ferry went to the kelong where i met him... i juz travelled without a purpose... unknowingly got myself there...
anyway i slept until my mom woke me up for sch.. my sis had already left... i rem waking up at around 3am to wipe my drool... (oops!) n i heard a door close... wondered how come at tt time someone is still awake. quite reluctant to wake up for jap class.. kinda expected some stupid games session.. when i arrived they were listening to music... doraemon.. -.-" then we did some japanese workout, played bingo, played janken pon (hei bai pei).. i won 3 rounds... haha.. went to library to read the latest Home Concepts magazine then went to chunfang's hse to borrow vcds...
i wan to sell my stuff away... feel tt i dun need so many stuff anyway... when i die itz also easier to clear my things tt way... hmm.. haha..
on my way home i keep slping on the bus... v reluctant to wake up and walk home. when i reached home i went to slp immediately.. woke up for a phone call but went back to lalaland after tt. i rem dreaming abt wanling joining us for lessons, i also dreamt tt i went to malaysia by myself. boarded a ferry. i was standing while the ferry was still at dock, i turned around n saw yau toking to someone beside me... then i quickly turned back. he asked tt person behind me, "wad's she doing here?" n i was kinda afraid wad will happen next... he got off the ferry n i nv saw him again. this ferry went to the kelong where i met him... i juz travelled without a purpose... unknowingly got myself there...
anyway i slept until my mom woke me up for sch.. my sis had already left... i rem waking up at around 3am to wipe my drool... (oops!) n i heard a door close... wondered how come at tt time someone is still awake. quite reluctant to wake up for jap class.. kinda expected some stupid games session.. when i arrived they were listening to music... doraemon.. -.-" then we did some japanese workout, played bingo, played janken pon (hei bai pei).. i won 3 rounds... haha.. went to library to read the latest Home Concepts magazine then went to chunfang's hse to borrow vcds...
i wan to sell my stuff away... feel tt i dun need so many stuff anyway... when i die itz also easier to clear my things tt way... hmm.. haha..
Monday, March 21, 2005
:: vinca ::
i juz realise tt my flower is vinca... but i always read it as vinee (cursive writing la)... so.. which one sounds nicer?
:: haha ::
u noe wad i'm doing now? my pc keyboard is on my lap while i'm typing on my ibook! i can only use my ibook to surf internet n i'm bia-ing the web review assignment tonight.. i actually aimed to finish by last nite, but by 1.30am i couldn't take it already.
today i din fall asleep during service even tho i've had little slp.. i actually fell asleep sitting on my bed during quiet time last nite, woke up at around 4am to switch off the light n slp properly.
went for lunch with cell grp.. been a long time since.. kinda sad tt i dun realli catch their topics. i'm back to the state where i feel tt i can't clique with my cell grp... they always seem rich enough to shop in esprit, chill out at NYDC, buy mp3 players together... i suddenly feel v broke... on my way back i prayed n consoled myself tt at least i dun indulge things tt i cannot bring to heaven? hmm... i think at this age itz hard to find pple who have similar philosophy as me... i guess tt's y i'm antisocial most of the time... i feel tt i can onli be myself around frenz like huixiang n ting... i feel kinda sad tt i dun like to tok abt fashion, branded stuff, so itz like i seldom tok to the guys in my class cuz tt's wad they often tok abt... i'm really shutting myself in again...
hmm.. besides tt.. i have a crush on my classmate... i often imagine being together with him... but itz bad... affects my concentration in the things i do... i muz control myself! hmmph... when i was still a kid i always dare to declare my admiration for my crushes.. but now cannot anyhow liao...
anyway i've got no holiday anymore wor... going to year 3 straight after IMPJ... how would i survive without God sia...
mom nagged at sis abt going back to phuket again.. honestly i have intentions to go work there also... but itz obvious tt my parents wun be happy abt it...
today i din fall asleep during service even tho i've had little slp.. i actually fell asleep sitting on my bed during quiet time last nite, woke up at around 4am to switch off the light n slp properly.
went for lunch with cell grp.. been a long time since.. kinda sad tt i dun realli catch their topics. i'm back to the state where i feel tt i can't clique with my cell grp... they always seem rich enough to shop in esprit, chill out at NYDC, buy mp3 players together... i suddenly feel v broke... on my way back i prayed n consoled myself tt at least i dun indulge things tt i cannot bring to heaven? hmm... i think at this age itz hard to find pple who have similar philosophy as me... i guess tt's y i'm antisocial most of the time... i feel tt i can onli be myself around frenz like huixiang n ting... i feel kinda sad tt i dun like to tok abt fashion, branded stuff, so itz like i seldom tok to the guys in my class cuz tt's wad they often tok abt... i'm really shutting myself in again...
hmm.. besides tt.. i have a crush on my classmate... i often imagine being together with him... but itz bad... affects my concentration in the things i do... i muz control myself! hmmph... when i was still a kid i always dare to declare my admiration for my crushes.. but now cannot anyhow liao...
anyway i've got no holiday anymore wor... going to year 3 straight after IMPJ... how would i survive without God sia...
mom nagged at sis abt going back to phuket again.. honestly i have intentions to go work there also... but itz obvious tt my parents wun be happy abt it...
Friday, March 18, 2005
:: stress ::
sambal kangkong always make me sick....
haiz...lately v stress..
went to work out on wed, din eat much for the past few days... been slping less also.. i think all tt will make mi slim down ba.. haha..
my sis come back already.. the ICT mag she brought back for me is not as exciting leh, but still very rich in high res graphics...
last nite i went for kelas bahasa.. resume lessons liao.. chamz i was not catching up with the lesson... too long nv berbicara bahasa.. somemore i learn thai halfway.. got a bit mixed with thai n indonesia.. i almost replied 'nit noi' when the guru asked if i rem wad i learnt.. went home after tt n typed a short email to my son.. sent feedback to the ICT mag... n did a lot of rubbish stuff.. went to slp onli at 4.30am...
almost couldn't wake up this morning, but thank goodness i can take my time on fridays..
been talking to joanne, valerie, yvonne n huiyee.. got to noe them better.. jo n val praise pple and it makes pple feel better abt themselves.. jo went to YEP trip b4.. so we chatted abt thailand n the pple we met n the things we did there. chatted with val on the mrt on my way to hx's hse for filming last wk.. got to noe her more abt the things she likes n dislikes, n her opinions of some things.. yvonne is v serious in her work.. tt's something i lack... i realli can't think of any of my work tt i can take pride in sia.. n huiyee is v understanding when i told her tt i feel tired to do work.. haiz... towards the end of the semester i realli feel like juz getting it over n done with.... no motivation to work hard sia.. feel so discouraged when i got back my 3D assignments results... some pple do simple design, but they can get better grades... i feel v upset over tt... =(
i feel scared of attachment..... haiz.. got my year 3 schedule already... i believe itz God's plan for me how i spend my third year... i juz gotta pray tt it wouldn't clash with church activities n other activities like my kelas bahasa...
haiz...lately v stress..
went to work out on wed, din eat much for the past few days... been slping less also.. i think all tt will make mi slim down ba.. haha..
my sis come back already.. the ICT mag she brought back for me is not as exciting leh, but still very rich in high res graphics...
last nite i went for kelas bahasa.. resume lessons liao.. chamz i was not catching up with the lesson... too long nv berbicara bahasa.. somemore i learn thai halfway.. got a bit mixed with thai n indonesia.. i almost replied 'nit noi' when the guru asked if i rem wad i learnt.. went home after tt n typed a short email to my son.. sent feedback to the ICT mag... n did a lot of rubbish stuff.. went to slp onli at 4.30am...
almost couldn't wake up this morning, but thank goodness i can take my time on fridays..
been talking to joanne, valerie, yvonne n huiyee.. got to noe them better.. jo n val praise pple and it makes pple feel better abt themselves.. jo went to YEP trip b4.. so we chatted abt thailand n the pple we met n the things we did there. chatted with val on the mrt on my way to hx's hse for filming last wk.. got to noe her more abt the things she likes n dislikes, n her opinions of some things.. yvonne is v serious in her work.. tt's something i lack... i realli can't think of any of my work tt i can take pride in sia.. n huiyee is v understanding when i told her tt i feel tired to do work.. haiz... towards the end of the semester i realli feel like juz getting it over n done with.... no motivation to work hard sia.. feel so discouraged when i got back my 3D assignments results... some pple do simple design, but they can get better grades... i feel v upset over tt... =(
i feel scared of attachment..... haiz.. got my year 3 schedule already... i believe itz God's plan for me how i spend my third year... i juz gotta pray tt it wouldn't clash with church activities n other activities like my kelas bahasa...
Sunday, March 13, 2005
:: back ::
got a lot of my feelings to share suddenly... well i've been filming for the last week already, itz realli not easy acting, i doubt i'll be an actress... act as nerd girl in hx's scripts still can. haha..
yday, sat no cell grp. went to ling's house to meet the grp.. her dog v cute.. but, i still always always prefer cats~! had pizza n ice cream..yummy~ then we took taxi out to ecp for outdoor shooting. took quite a while to find the "perfect" spot, n to set up all tt... the worrying thing is tt they only had a battery tt can last for not very long. there was a point i suddenly imagined that i saw yau, n he was threatening to kill me.. then i realised tt i had been imagining things, n i also realise tt i looked v worried.. i dun think the rest of the pple noticed la.. anyway when it was my turn to act it was very fast.. i myself think tt i din do a good job, but peilin decided to wrap up the day after a few diff angles, n just one take each, of my scene.
then we walked out.. mi n peilin walked a very very long way to Parkway parade for dinner at Yoshinoya's. she treat me to the kare don thingy... not bad onli.. but we had heart to heart talk, for very long, juz to share how we feel abt things, how's our personality like towards things, wad kinda guys we like etc.. then we took bus home.. when we boarded the bus 62 i saw some guys, they're quite cute la.. but then later i realised tt they r the ones i saw b4, who live at the same block as mi.. i wonder if they noticed mi, n i imagined them telling each other to wait for me (i walked quite slowly n one of them turned around once in a while).. o.0 hehehehehe
anyway this morning i overslept.. supposed to wake up at 5am but i snoozed my alarm clock... in the end woke up at 6.30! panic sia.. i rushed (thank God i packed my bag last nite) out at around 7am (supposed to meet persis they all at 7 at harbourfront) waited quite long for a cab. tt taxi driver siao de, sped all the way sia! he onli slowed down where there was a traffic accident (n police were around the area) but not long after tt he picked up speed again! i was like thinking to myself: "Lord pls dun let me get into an accident... i realli want to go balai v much!!" i reached at 7.20am... not so bad, managed to catch everyone chatting at delifrance.. haha
i dunno how many times i've said this, but i realli miss the balai pple a lot... miss until wan to cry sia..
reached liao balai then we took oplik to the church in baran dua. we waited for the door of the church to be opened as we walked around the pasar. bought soya bean drink from ah zui n maggi mee goreng n prendjak tea n some bubur kopi from the shops there. waited for the meral children to arrived then i started with leading worship for the sunday sch... my 1st time leading worship i guess.. i always have a problem praying out loud (not to mention in chinese or hokkien!), n also start singing with the music instruments..
persis shared the story of nehemiah building the wall of jerusalem.. then after tt the girls went upstairs to learn tamborine (rebana) dance from sarah. persis n i went out to buy teh-o bing for them.. saw ah yang... haiz he's like not attending church anymore.. =( asked wati abt her brothers n aimei.. had fried rice for lunch.. after tt wati's mom arrived with aimei... asked her mom abt frenky n wiky.. frenky had been back from tj pinang already, so i asked her wad's he doing now, y nv help in the church anymore... i realli feel sad tt he left church. she said he might come to church later.. but got to go work soon after tt. then wiky had been working after sch. haiz... i thot wiky had been spritually stronger than frenky, but he also quit church cuz of work. anyway i got to c frenky in the end.. felt quite happy, but it was v brief cuz he went to work b4 i cld tok to him.
after service we took the ferry back to singapore... sucks eh waited for half an hour b4 the ferry arrived.... then a lot of pple going back to singapore... no proper seats for us.. then i realli dun wan to sit beside all the DOM lor... =S in the end sat between 2 women. not so bad.. ate up my tempe n pisang goreng.. yummy~! had dinner at the food junction n got a ride from a chinese cong couple who also live in punggol.
yday, sat no cell grp. went to ling's house to meet the grp.. her dog v cute.. but, i still always always prefer cats~! had pizza n ice cream..yummy~ then we took taxi out to ecp for outdoor shooting. took quite a while to find the "perfect" spot, n to set up all tt... the worrying thing is tt they only had a battery tt can last for not very long. there was a point i suddenly imagined that i saw yau, n he was threatening to kill me.. then i realised tt i had been imagining things, n i also realise tt i looked v worried.. i dun think the rest of the pple noticed la.. anyway when it was my turn to act it was very fast.. i myself think tt i din do a good job, but peilin decided to wrap up the day after a few diff angles, n just one take each, of my scene.
then we walked out.. mi n peilin walked a very very long way to Parkway parade for dinner at Yoshinoya's. she treat me to the kare don thingy... not bad onli.. but we had heart to heart talk, for very long, juz to share how we feel abt things, how's our personality like towards things, wad kinda guys we like etc.. then we took bus home.. when we boarded the bus 62 i saw some guys, they're quite cute la.. but then later i realised tt they r the ones i saw b4, who live at the same block as mi.. i wonder if they noticed mi, n i imagined them telling each other to wait for me (i walked quite slowly n one of them turned around once in a while).. o.0 hehehehehe
anyway this morning i overslept.. supposed to wake up at 5am but i snoozed my alarm clock... in the end woke up at 6.30! panic sia.. i rushed (thank God i packed my bag last nite) out at around 7am (supposed to meet persis they all at 7 at harbourfront) waited quite long for a cab. tt taxi driver siao de, sped all the way sia! he onli slowed down where there was a traffic accident (n police were around the area) but not long after tt he picked up speed again! i was like thinking to myself: "Lord pls dun let me get into an accident... i realli want to go balai v much!!" i reached at 7.20am... not so bad, managed to catch everyone chatting at delifrance.. haha
i dunno how many times i've said this, but i realli miss the balai pple a lot... miss until wan to cry sia..
reached liao balai then we took oplik to the church in baran dua. we waited for the door of the church to be opened as we walked around the pasar. bought soya bean drink from ah zui n maggi mee goreng n prendjak tea n some bubur kopi from the shops there. waited for the meral children to arrived then i started with leading worship for the sunday sch... my 1st time leading worship i guess.. i always have a problem praying out loud (not to mention in chinese or hokkien!), n also start singing with the music instruments..
persis shared the story of nehemiah building the wall of jerusalem.. then after tt the girls went upstairs to learn tamborine (rebana) dance from sarah. persis n i went out to buy teh-o bing for them.. saw ah yang... haiz he's like not attending church anymore.. =( asked wati abt her brothers n aimei.. had fried rice for lunch.. after tt wati's mom arrived with aimei... asked her mom abt frenky n wiky.. frenky had been back from tj pinang already, so i asked her wad's he doing now, y nv help in the church anymore... i realli feel sad tt he left church. she said he might come to church later.. but got to go work soon after tt. then wiky had been working after sch. haiz... i thot wiky had been spritually stronger than frenky, but he also quit church cuz of work. anyway i got to c frenky in the end.. felt quite happy, but it was v brief cuz he went to work b4 i cld tok to him.
after service we took the ferry back to singapore... sucks eh waited for half an hour b4 the ferry arrived.... then a lot of pple going back to singapore... no proper seats for us.. then i realli dun wan to sit beside all the DOM lor... =S in the end sat between 2 women. not so bad.. ate up my tempe n pisang goreng.. yummy~! had dinner at the food junction n got a ride from a chinese cong couple who also live in punggol.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Monday, March 07, 2005
:: Scorpion ::
hmm i always lazy to update.. but last sunday, i went out with ting after returning books at Crest.. i anyhow take bus then landed myself near ACJC.. =S supposed to meet her at Queensway... she bought me nike Scorpion! the shopkeepers told her one of the balls there was scorpion, but i dun think so. i rem scorpion as VERY reflective and has a scorpion image de. so we finally got the one i was looking for~! then we went to Mac to buy ice cream, which melted SUPER fast in the rain n humid weather.. we were walking across to IKEA. bought some stuff... quite heavy... one of the straps of my "china" handbag broke =( my parents called to ask mi to go find them in church. passed them the stuff n i went home empty handed.
i'll upload my scorpion picture later.. right now i dun have space in my room to display it so itz in the storeroom =X
i'll upload my scorpion picture later.. right now i dun have space in my room to display it so itz in the storeroom =X
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
:: nitemare ::
had a nightmare last nite... dreamt abt ghosts... i was in some place.... like surin, n there was a children's camp too. i rem going there to help with some of my frenz, i think including hx (n her bf?), peilin, n i dun realli rem the rest. it was the end of the camp already n we have packed up for home. halfway on the trip home (we were on the mrt) i rem i left a lot of things behind, so we went back to get them. my beloved bolster was one of the things i left behind. i rem toking to my kor, seb, n he told mi tt he had moved to clementi, near my old house. i also rem dunno y i was hugging wh.. haha..
back at the camp, Ibu lita was around. she allowed mi to go back to pack my stuff.. the room i was in was kinda dark n built using planks of wood. while packing my stuff (i was alone) i saw ghosts.. but i didn't seem to be v affected by tt..
hmm tt's all i rem abt the nitemare...
back at the camp, Ibu lita was around. she allowed mi to go back to pack my stuff.. the room i was in was kinda dark n built using planks of wood. while packing my stuff (i was alone) i saw ghosts.. but i didn't seem to be v affected by tt..
hmm tt's all i rem abt the nitemare...
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