:: thinking ::

hmm.. haha today went home to take my hp after work cuz i forgot to bring... then asked my dad to give me a lift to indoor stadium for FOP.. but i saw the queue even tho it was close to 8pm already.. decided to go to eat with my dad instead. we had dinner at old airport road. ate wanton mee.. not v special leh.. hmm. standard drop liao haha..

went to orchard to meet nic, then wendy n michael joined us at taka.. looked at toys at taka square.. then went to the ngee ann city square to slack. took photos, stupid photos.. haha.. then chatted.. toked abt OD.. juz now i went to c my OD... i reminded myself of my feelings.. so easily depressed, so easily amused.. haha..

we also toked abit abt our past relationships.. come to think of it.. i onli have 1 serious one.. the other 2 were juz trying out.. stupidity. n i have been wondering also. n i came to a conclusion. if i got a chance to undo my relationships n start again, i will still choose to go after hao... he was the one who made me mature in my thinking abt relationships.. realli thank him a lot.. but nic always ask me how come i dun have bf now... n i always answer, becuz my expectations r high! realli wad. if u got read my long ago entry abt guys.. u will understand.. briefly describe tt entry: there r diff types of guys n i dun like most of them. maybe i like some for their looks. but full stop. beyond the looks, there's nothing tt makes me realli interested. i went after some guys in the past, but come to think of it, i dun think they're the best choice? i've been dreaming abt this guy, dreaming tt he's my bf.. but then.. in real life i dun realli wan to get involved. even IF he's interested i also dun wan. now's not the time for commitment. haha..

these few days when i take bus or mrt i see mothers and children.. it makes me wonder is it true that all mothers love their children.. r they realli happy, proud to see their children grow up? do they find their children cute? cuz my mom used to always tell me i'm a nuisance.. she nv tells me i'm cute. she seldom buy toys for me cuz she finds it a waste of money.. i used to feel tt she nv loved me.. but now as i grow up, we're becoming more like friends like mother-daughter.. i'm still trying to accept tt she loves me.. when i think of this i feel like crying.. i used to think tt she's juz my money-provider, report-and-consent-form-signer.. i also thot of one time during pri sch she always wake up b4 me, to wake me up for sch.. one day i actually looked at her as she wait for me to leave home for sch. she was asleep on the sofa.. she was tired.. i saw how tired she looked.. suddenly i juz felt fear... scared... i dun understand y.. but when i saw how haggard she looked i felt bad... i think tt was the time i started to treat her better.

abt my dad.. i feel tt my way of spending time with him is having dinner and getting rides on his motorbike. i dunno whether he feels tt itz considered spending time together like tt.. we dun have heart to heart talks. the most i ask is abt road directions.. haha.. he's realli expert on the roads man.. the AYE PIE CTE n the streets r like his friends man. he's better than a taxi driver! haha.. he told me some places he worked b4.. he used to be a lift engineer, a cook in the army.. he used to be my mom's neighbour.. cool man, tt means his whole family knew her whole family lor..

my sis smsed me tt she missed me. (she was drunk) haha.. i showed the msg to esther n she thinks my sis muz be drunk too.. haha.. i kinda envy her cuz she's living on her own in phuket now.. i guess my parents have been teaching us to be independent.. i feel excited when i imagine myself living on my own, independently.. but it wun happen.....yet la. i want to get married at the age of 24, but.. better dun think abt it then rush into marriage la.

hmm.. wad else.. hmm.. abt work.. felt happy today cuz 1. i went for work early. 2. my boss quite ok with my design. 3. i finished 2 projects today.. n count total the projects i did during IAP is 8! hoho.. 4. i learn new things everyday.