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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

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feeling depressed right now. this entry is going to be quite personal to me.

in spite of that, i wanna thank God for answering my prayer. well, i haven't had my period for more than 2 months already. i was worried, though it's an inconvenience. started to get serious abt my health n prayed abt it. i ever wondered if i shld ever have children in future. i mean it's like, what if they turn away from the right path? what if they end up in hell? what if they actually do things that lead pple to hell? i was not hopeful for the future. but then there's the other side. my children could turn out leading pple the right way. they could be the hope for the future. seems like i think far huh. but i just prayed that i wun be barren la.

hmm. felt v hurt last night. cuz i went to meet ting to get my vcd back. i was also blaming myself for forgetting to bring a good movie. i even bought a movie that i find funny and good to watch. in the end no, we aren't watching those. normally i would have been okay abt that. i guess it was the high expectation that i had, that pple would enjoy the movies i brought. i guess it was the tone that hurt me. n i cried all the way home. i do enjoy watching 16 Blocks, but i didn't realise that we were just going to watch one movie.

i also felt very stressed out when they played the Hillsong United dvd. i watched the visuals n i started to cry. i wish i could quit. no i dun mean my job.

i just feel that i need to take time to heal.

and uh. Hurt people hurt people. so, sorry.

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