:: loneleeee ::

fri

went to kallang/boon keng area to meet a client. i love to work in warehouses. =P makes me feel like a man. (oops!) took bus 61 back to office.

after work walked to city hall. walked on thur too. (i didn't mention that?) was looking for a new Canon digital camera. got confused by 2 clashing persuasions by 4 shopkeepers. so fri i went to Peninsula Plaza, supposedly got a few electronics shops, but i didn't get what i wanted.

decided to go Funan cuz i thought there's a pretzel stall. met jeremy there. then kelvin arrived. so we went down to the food court for dinner. ordered a large plate of beehoon + fried chicken for $2.50. ;)

amos arrived then we walked to the pub behind The Substation. i've seen that place before, but didn't know that's Timbre's. jeff was there already. watched ACDC while we ordered Erdinger promotion set for the Oktoberfest. Then yap, diana n jac arrived. around 10.15pm the band came up n started to play. yawns.. bedtime. haha..

reached home around 12+am.. n my mom was still awake.

sat
had breakfast with my mom. spent time packing my room. shiok. tired by the time i went for cell grp.

weelee shared abt breakups. my cell grp has been having discussion on BGR, in case i haven't mentioned before. n 'breakups' is a topic considered a taboo to me. i don't like to talk abt it, or ask pple abt it. it's an awkward topic. but it was great hearing weelee share. she also gave this so-called personality test, to help us identify our relational style. I'm a Pleaser. after thinking abt it, i realise it's true. i'm the kind who would show love to pple "my way". guess it means that i show love in a way that is "sacrificial".. i mean i would have the mindset that "i dun mind doing all these for u, it doesn't matter though it hurts me" n "you might not realise it, but i'm suffering alone n it's okay" n i'm the type who won't confront pple when things go wrong - generally. i probably only confront pple i dunno haha.. like in my sec sch days i would be like a da jie to my friends. "if anyone bully u, tell me, i go confront that person."

we also talked abt "moving on". how long would be a good cool off period before getting into a relationship again? preferably one yr. i dun support my friends going into a relationship too soon after a previous one. (u noe who u r.) n how do u know that u have totally "healed" from a broken relationship n r ready for a next one? when u can see ur ex n be able to exchange a casual conversation. if u r not able to do this, that means there's unforgiveness. this is not some supernatural cheem word, this is not "ha-leh-lu-ya", my dear girl. unforgiveness is a sickness that makes fear stay inside u. for example ur ex is a very helpful guy, but because of his helpfulness he got to know this girl n he broke up with u to get with this girl. out of unforgiveness u tend to have a dislike for helpful guys for the fear that ur next bf will leave u the same way. hmm.. is this example clear enough?

hmm hao if u're reading this, i hope that u will move on. it does make me feel slightly uncomfortable (putting it in a nice way) whenever u talk abt our past n what u remember abt me. actually i tend to laugh it off or ignore it but this can't go on la. it's good that we can still hang out like normal friends but it's not healthy to keep trying to remember the past. u're now the only guy who treats me so well n i'm starting to feel not used to it. i don't mean that we r not going to talk anymore but that show me u can move on k? dun live in the past anymore..

that time i said that i could "get over a heart break".. think that was last month.. recently my emotions r coming back. it sucks. i was supposed to be liberated from my emotions, but now i feel suffocated by them. causes me to do stupid things. help!